20 weeks pregnant.

First of all .. this was not an accident. I actually planned this whole thing. I turned 25 and 60 months this year, and so I felt my biological clock ticking really loudly. I realized I didn’t want to have to same issues I had with my parents because of  the huge age difference. My dad is 70! He was 40 the day I was born! We have nothing in common.. well except that I look like him, talk like him, am as loud as him and I walk like him when I wear heels…. but besides all of that I am nothing like this dude. When we meet its the same three minute conversation all the time then after that it gets really awkward really fast. I am kinda jealous. He drinks with my brothers. They can spend hours on Skype. I am like thinking… what the heck are you all talking about.  Don’t get me wrong.. I LOVE my dad. I always wanna make him proud. But if I am not presenting a degree/certificate or giving him a gift.. then what else is there??? Anyway I blame this unfortunate circumstance on our age gap. And then there is my mum, who is 65. When I was born she was 35. She acts like she is 90. She is old fashioned and dresses like a granny. Then again she is a granny. My mum is the reason I do not have much love for make up. She has never been about that life, I think she is an old soul. She acts much older than anyone I have ever met. Sometimes she drives me crazy and I feel like saying… please be young for  a minute. Really my mum doesn’t even wear earrings or believe in laughing in front of  people more respectable than her. We have nothing in common… except my huge flat nose, my indifference to make up, my love of comfy clothes and eating good food…. besides all that… we have nothing in  common. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my mum. But once she freaked out coz I called her “mother”. I blame her 90 year old soul.

So I made up my mind to have a baby before I get to be as old as my parents were when they had me. But then… it was never the right time. I actually don’t think now is the right time but if I didn’t just do it I was never gonna do it. Part of me thinks, I took too long. I should have had the baby the first time I turned 25. But then at that time I didn’t have a husband yet. I am all traditional like that. I always said I would be married before I have a kid. Maybe coz my old parents drilled those old school values in me. Maybe 25 and 60 months is already too late and my kid is gonna think I have an old soul too. I am imagining my child calling me “mother”. Argggg it doesn’t sound right to me. Definitely sticking to “mama” like I call my mum.

So new years eve, I am like to my hubby… do you wanna have a baby this year? He says we can try.. but later so that the baby is born in 2017. Well that worked out for us just as he said. Little Bhelebana is coming in 2017. Gosh… and the days just have to drag. I am over being a house for a human. But at the same time I want the human to stay in me all 40 weeks. I know… I am nearly bipolar isn’t?

So I pee on the stick. Two lines…. crap, I have class in like 2 min. So I start teaching and pretending my life is all good so I can suck up to my students and get good ratings. My mind was racing crap crap crap.. I am not ready. God, I was just joking!!! I am not gonna lie. I was really not happy about it for the first hour. Then I got on the smile.amazon.com – Yes I use the smile site so I donate to charitable organisations — so I go on there and I bought a pregnancy journal and the infamous book: “What to expect when you are expecting” . I also bought a yoga set so I can do pregnancy yoga.. which reminds me.. if you want a yoga set I can give you one. I have never used it.  After I paid I felt so much better about my situation. Plus my hubby seemed excited when I finally told him.

So the only time I have enjoyed this journey is like from the time I placed my order till about 1 week later when my body finally got the memo. It has been in one very accurate word – HORRIBLE. I have not one day written in that pregnancy journal because I have been sick. People are liars. Horrid horrid liars. There is nothing beautiful about this alien causing havoc in your life. And if you are ready.. only if you are ready read the next paragraph…. if not skip it. In the next paragraph I will go through the some of the crazy stuff that goes on while you are pregnant.. that people say is all worth it when the baby comes. Noone told me about this.. I have experienced it and still do…. so if you are ready…. read next paragraph. If not .. DO NOT DO IT!

First of all.. I only bought the pee stick coz my gums got swollen. Half my face was swollen and the gums were bleeding back. I could hardly brush my teeth. So I went to the dentist. Who said when he saw me… “are you pregnant?” I was like ummm I don’t know. He says he sees this “ALL THE TIME” and thinks I should pee on the stick. Like are you kidding??????  (really “all the time”??? really???) Anyway he was right. Then I got the meds right and things were great for a week like I said above until … morning sickness. Why the heck anyone called it morning sickness is a mystery to me. I feel like starting a petition to change the name. This MS is all day. I lost weight coz I could eat nothing and everything smelt bad! EVERYTHING. I threw away perfumes, and air freshener and these spa sticks. I opened the windows and I just suffered for weeks! What is MS?? Well imagine you have a flu… and you had too much tequila last night and mixed it with vodka…. and so its like a hangover and flu combined and the constant need to throw up.. EVERY SECOND OF YOUR DAY. It was terrible to say the least.. especially week 9.. created by the devil himself. A real test of faith. I was considering a secret abortion and was going to tell me husband it was a miscarriage. I think God Himself intervened that week.. the day after my horrid thoughts I went for my first scan and I saw my Sunshine for the first time. That was the key to me making it till today. Really the scan saved my baby’s life. Well that’s not all folks… there’s more… sensitive boobs, sore back, acne, fatigue… now when I say fatigue I am not kidding!!! Fatigue for days especially in first trimester. I slept 15 hours a day.. and I could have slept more if people didn’t wake me up. Regardless of how long I slept I was still exhausted. It was really terrible. Turns out its coz I had hypothyroidism.. which causes a whole host of fun things like miscarriage, still birth, low IQ, low birth weight and just drama. Now for TMI symptoms… seriously this is TMI (too much information – please just skip it if you ain’t ready). Well if you insist on reading this here goes… first discharge.. yes vaginal discharge.. lots of it all the time every time. I thought there was a problem… apparently if it doesn’t stink and isn’t a funny color then its all good… perfectly normal. I said to my gyne… who is male by the way… yes.. a man other that my husband has touched my vagina…(eeewww) .. so I said to him.. but it makes my panty wet.. I have to wear panty liners. He said yes.. its all perfectly normal. Are you kidding me? But wait there is more!!!! Perspiration anyone? And lots of it. And damn me for getting pregnant in summer. I now perspire under my boobs ladies and gentlemen.. under my boobs!!!! My favorite outfit is now  officially my birthday suit. But wait… there’s more. My boobs – boy are they huge… not that’s not the bad part – I now have moles on my nipples… did you know that??? Did you know that anyone??? I didn’t know that… all these people walking around evidence of previous pregnancies and not one person thought to let me in on this secret that my nipples will have little moles on them… and can start leaking some little amount of fluid.. (very little) as early as 19 weeks. When I asked my doctor about this moles… which I feared were cancerous or something, his response was “It’s perfectly normal” What the actual freak. How is this ok?? In any world. I am not one to brag ladies and gentlemen. But I had beautiful boobs. My boobs were so perfect. My husband was really one satisfied individual. Now… I have moles on my nipples. My very dark black nipples. Seriously. Anyway more symptoms include HOT feet. You do not understand. I cannot sleep because I my feet have a fever. They swell.. so do my hands but mostly my feet.. swell. It’s ridiculous. Argg  I am tired of writing so I will stop here with the symptom talk but trust me… there is more. .. like thrush and stuff… maybe I will tell you another day but arrggg I am over it.

Now that I am over that part. I wanna bring you back to the first thing I said… This was not an accident. I deliberately got pregnant. Some days, like today I feel better. Maybe coz I went to church this morning. I guess. I started writing this blog post coz I just wanted someone to know this journey is so surreal. Yet everyday I am pregnant and I will be for 20 more weeks. I think about it. I don’t drink coz of it, I haven’t eaten sushi or undercooked meat or apples or KFC coz of it. I live this pregnant life everyday.  Argggghh but it is so surreal. It’s a bit too much adulting for me. But I am already invested in my son… James Chase…. name has not been approved by the father yet but anyway. That’s his name for now. Maybe if I keep saying it he will start liking the names.

Maybe I will write again. Maybe. I have lots to tell. But I am sleepy now. Time for my 1pm nap. This post is too long anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

All I want for Christmas is….

Presents

So I felt inspired by a friend. So I came up with a list of 28 things I would want for Christmas this year.

Just to make it easy for all my family & friends.

1. Tickets to a cruise ship – NOT Oh Ship! – I would prefer an “adult contemporary” cruise ship experience.

2. Tickets to the Micheal Buble concert

3. To make Wedu more than just an idea.

4. Shoes!

5. Trip to Phuket or Zanzibar

6. Good bottle of Shiraz – better yet a red wine making kit

7. That opportunity.

8. Year’s supply of awesome and rare tea – variety is king.

9. A Southern African Safari trip

10. A warm smile and a hug from my husband.

11. A hydroponics starter kit

12. Upgrades for my kitchen – especially baking stuff (Oh my! I am this person! I really want that)

13. Handbags!

14. Ice-cream

15. A scarf

16. Lingerie (I do not know a woman who does not want this)

17. Spa day

18. Money.

19. Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook by F L Fowler

20. Poker night with #TeamShikwaru

21. If any of my besties visit me

22. A trip to Sun City

23. Micheal Buble’s Christmas Album on CD (do not pirate it, buy the CD)

24. Donation to Camfed in my name. (Coz girls have to go to school)

25. Paintball and quad biking outing with family and friends.

26. A Christmas tree. Because I have never had one.

27. To meet my niece – Malaika

28. A party.

3 Reasons I’m Donating My Birthday to Charity

This year, instead of gifts, friends and family please support my chosen charity by making a donation in my name!

Camfed provides comprehensive bursary support for the full duration of a girl’s secondary education. The scholarship covers everything from school fees, to uniforms, to shoes, books, pencils and bags.

1 way to make a donation is to donate online on:

https://camfed.org/

OR

Contact me for other ways to donate (eft and otherwise)

It costs US$335 a year to send one of these girls to school and my aim is to send at least 1 girl to school. Please support.

 

Here is why I am doing this!

 

1. Drop-out rate for schoolgirls in Zimbabwe is “alarming”

The majority of children out of school are orphans or children of ailing or subsistence farmers. It is for this reason that as an organisation we provide comprehensive and long-term bursaries to over 17 000 poor girls in 26 rural districts. It is not enough to meet some of the needs for these poorest children: the support has to be comprehensive providing the fees, levies, stationery, uniforms, sanitary ware and the uniforms. – Camfed Zimbabwe’s Executive Director Angeline Murimirwa

2. Education is key to ending child marriage

“There are no jobs, schools are often long distances from people’s homes, and so for many girls, there seems little option but to get married. Without education, they lack confidence or knowledge to make their own choices and so the vast majority end up married or with babies with little say in the matter. Their prospects seem bleak.” – Angeline Murimirwa, Executive Director for Camfed Malawi and Zimbabwe

3. I hope to encourage you to do the same

This charity event will far outlive my birthday

See more at: http://www.crowdrise.com/VongaisCharityBirthday#sthash.3MWWfQTp.dpuf

SongVersation (Album Review) – Music and I

SongVersation

I am blessed in many ways and it goes without saying that music is one of those numerous ways I am blessed.

I know I am not the only person who gets touched by music. I am sure almost everyone has had that moment when you working or chilling or reading or doing your thing when this song, that you have never heard before takes you by surprise and you feel it. You like in the middle of your thing and you like start moving your head or listening to the words or you like take out your Shazam to find out the name of the song and artist.. so that  you can download it immediately.

That happens to me a lot.

The latest shockingly amazing song that makes my heart skip… India.Arie  –  This love

From her album SongVersation – which I got from my bestie – Miss Gwen Myers (I love you lots)

Have you listened to SongVersation? Neo-soul/Rn’B  type of music and if you are into Maxwell, Musiq Soul Child, Corrine Bailey Rae, Dwele or Floetry – you would love it.

I love neo-soul because it is timeless. I can listen to This love in 2020 and I know for sure it will still make my heart skip. I literally feel like I am floating when I listen to it.

The whole time I was listening to the album I was thinking – I love India.Arie – her music reminds me of God. Her love songs are so filled with meaning unlike any other love songs I have heard for example –  Nothing I love more and Moved by You. The song Nothing “I love more” literally makes me want to wear a dress and dance in the sun. I wasn’t shocked to find her love song to God in the middle of the album – Thy will be done, which has a of reggae touch to it.

The album if full of gems, another favorite I have to mention –  Cocoa Butter. A sunny song that makes me think of flowers, smiles and yellow dresses. Love it!

Its really just a very mature, laid back and happy album.  Its a rare find in a world where pop music has taken over the radio and music channels. It’s refreshing music.

Out of 10  on the first listen I gave this album a  7

Out of 10 on the second listen I gave it a 8.

Out of 10 on the seventh time I listened to it I gave it a 9.

I gave up rating it. Its so beautiful – just buy it.  You will love it.

If you have it, please tell me your favorite song. And what you think of the whole album.

If my voice can be heard.

Dear Zimbabwe.

The word on the street is the election may have been stolen. Maybe it was maybe it wasn’t. People ask me what I think about what happened but the truth is I don’t care.

I don’t care if our president is young or old. I don’t care if it is Zanu Pf or Mdc or Zapu. I don’t care if the name is Mugabe or Tsvangirai or even Kisnot.

You probably wondering why. Well I have a voice and if my voice could be heard it would tell you my blood is Zimbabwean. I care about my country and that’s all that matters.

This is my voice, and this is what is says:

I dream the elected government would think about the masses and living conditions. Its important for a person living in a city to have electricity. Zesa is screwed up on many levels and if our president would hear my voice and fix this. Electricity cannot go for 2 weeks. It is unacceptable. There is no plausible reason. There is no excuse.

It is not normal for people to be constructing bore holes in the urban areas. Clean water should flow out of taps, continuously. That is what I care about. That’s my dream!

Roads construction and maintenance is also my dream.

You know what this all really makes me sad. Because there was a time when we had clean flowing water and electricity outages were few, short lived and far between and roads in urban areas actually had tarmac on them instead of deep potholes.

We had that. We need is back.

I have a voice. It says its time for our elected government to start caring more about this and less…… yes I said less …..about indigenization for NOW. Because really. This is more important.

We can always focus on that and other policies after the general living conditions have been restored to something that even slightly resembles the ZImbabwe I grew up in!

I have a voice.

Can anyone hear me?

PS: This post reflects only MYopinion. I do not impose my beliefs on anyone.

Throwback Time: The fence

Image

When I was about 6 years old my family moved to Kadoma. I never knew we were moving. My parents forced me to go visit my cousins.. well forced is a bad word. I loved going to my cousins place in Gweru. So I went there for Christmas and when I came back home, home was in a new town! I was rather shocked hey.

I had actually been to the house before while it was still being built so I knew about it but this time I was super excited because we actually lived here now.

I think I got home at about 1pm and I promise you the first thing I did was run to the fence and call the little shy girl about the same age as me on the other side of the fence. I was like”Ey, do you wanna play?” and she said yes. I thought about how to get to the other side of the fence. I had 2 options, the obvious option, was to go around and get out the our gate and walk all the way to her gate  and the other was to climb the fence. I chose to climb the fence. It was faster and just like that I was on the other side.

The shy little girl’s name is Ashley.

We became the best of friends. I used to run to the fence and scream – Assshhhhhhlllleeeyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

She in turn would scream, “Voooooonnnnngggaiiiiii”

Ha ha ha. Being a kid was such fun.

She isn’t a shy little girl. She is  a loud, opinionated woman now. A mommy, a wife, a sister and my friend.

Realistic look at my weight loss program.

So it has been a while since I wrote about my weight loss program. I know I owe it to you and to myself to be honest about how that is going. So here goes.

As you know I had these pills I started taking that apparently burn fat because of the enzymes and what-nots. I took them religiously for about a week. Then I forgot them! First it was a few hours late then it was like 3 days. I totally forget I am supposed to take them. Perhaps I should have set a reminder on my phone but alas. I didn’t. So here I am hoping that the one week I did use them to burn fat and suppress hunger worked. Maybe if you are more disciplined than I the pills will work for you.

Then comes the milkshake. I love the G.I lean snack replacement. I do not take it everyday because sometimes I forget to get milk. But I feel that this stuff really works for me, I have a monster appetite. I love food. So anything that has the ability to half my serving is a miracle and I must stick with it. I realized the best time to take it is right before supper because that is my biggest meal. So when I have it then I just eat a little and I am full. Most people take it as a morning shake but I find that weird. I mean you still eat everything in normal amounts the rest of the day. But whatever works  for you. Have you tired these products?  If you have please tell me what you think.

So now the G.I lean is awesome but it is not enough! I need more. So I got dumbbells. I got them from a nice guy who saw my need and met it. What I nice guy.. He went on to offer me some weed as well but I turned it down. Anyway they are the cutest dumbbells ever. Starting light at 3 kg and in a beautiful shade of blue. I totally love how I can play around with them in my lounge, while I watch TV or dance around. I am looking for videos that actually incorporate dumbbells in the workout to maximize the benefit. I also am using the Kiera Lashae video to work out. She is such a sexy dancer and she makes working out so much fun. I definitely recommend you try that out. They do not have dumbbells but one video had heels. Wow it is sore.My dumbells

So I know what you are thinking. I am going on and on about what I have been doing and not doing but I have not told you results. The realistic answer is I am still fat. But I am not giving up. If I actually stuck to my plans and did the videos and drank water and all, I would have been getting somewhere. But I haven’t. I eat so much and I eat unhealthy. Last week I ate fast food like 5 nights out of 7. I should be ashamed of myself. I kinda am. But all that is changing. I will lose weight.

 

 

 

I am a Christian

So a while ago,  the high people in our church decided to start a page that inspires people by getting us to share our experience of how we got born again. (www.wikisozo.com). This site has an unbelievebly high number of stories of how people gave their lives to Jesus Christ. It is beyond beautiful.

I am going to share my story here. But before I do, I need to tell you why I wrote it they way I did.

Deep down inside, I am a poet. I love it so much. I stopped writing after someone who I thought was important (who turned out to be not so important) told me they were going to burn a book of poems full of my emotions. (Can you handle?) . Anyway so since I stopped writting poems on a regular (almost daily for about 4 years) I have written a few over the years (maybe about 10 in total in about 10 years). I only write about God in those 10 because I learnt that He is the only one who I can go crazy pouring out my feelings for and He won’t decide to burn the file. He totally enjoys when I love him through my poems. So that is why I put my story in this format.

My salvation story…..  

What can I say, My God loves me
He sent people to me to let me see
One Sunday, long ago, I went for a crusade
There I heard about the price Jesus paid
When Pastor Chiweda did the alter call
I listened even though I wanted to stall
Something in me told me to take that stand
And that decision was more than grand
I didn’t realize at the time what I had done
That a new life in Christ I had begun
As a child of God, a priest and a king
Thank you, Pastor Karen for explaining everything
Who knew that I would ever be here?
Now I know I no longer have to live in fear
In me, my God lives, He rules and reigns
His Spirit in me and His life in my veins
More than a conqueror, created with love
From the soles of my feet, to my head above
Happy for the first time for He carried my care
My God loves me and now my story share
You too can accept Jesus and get born again
Together we can praise God forever. Amen

My Taste of Cape Town Experience

  So I have been on a mission. A sort of undocumented, under the wraps kind of mission, that no one knows about except me. Well until now… now it’s documented, on the wraps and now you all know. My mission is to experience as much as I can when I can. So now I … Continue reading

Learning to walk in heels.

I went out last night. I decided to put on a pair of heels and boy was I breathing a little heavier after walking from the car to the restaurant. (I never said I was fit). Anyway it got me thinking! My initial thought was, wow my feet hurt! Why did I wear heels. The thing … Continue reading